Can You Love Your Team and Still Criticize Them? | Sports Fandom Debate | TFTO

Can You Love Your Team & Still Criticize Them?

Sue 0:00

You wear the jersey, you watch every game, you celebrate the wins and suffer through the losses. But the second you criticize your team, somebody says, What kind of fan are you? So here's the question. Can you love your team and still call them out? Thank you for joining me today. Welcome back. Before we can really answer whether you can love your team and still criticize them, I think we need to talk about fandom itself. What does being a true fan actually mean? Because there's a difference between being loyal, being a fair weather fan, and being so blindly loyal that you refuse to criticize anything your team does. And for me, being a true fan doesn't necessarily mean any of those things. So let's start there. So

What Does Being a Sports Fan Really Mean?

Sue 0:56

we have the fair weather fan. Oh, how I love and hate you guys. You you jump on the bandwagon when the team does well, or on a roll, or having a Cinderella run in the playoffs, right? It's our team all of a sudden. And then there's nothing wrong with getting caught up in a great run. It's fun. But the moment the team starts to lose, there's uh disengagement. Or god forbid, you guys even switch sides. And the criticism, the bashing, it's different because you don't usually have the content of the whole season. Right? And that's what sometimes gets me. You're criticizing this player, this coach, this team like you've been here with us all year. But you haven't. You've seen a snippet. You weren't here during that six-game losing streak in May when the rest of us were ready to throw the remote through the TV. And that brings me to the true fan. You are there from day one. You endure a long season and being supportive through the hard slopes, the slumps, the moments, the losses. You still criticize them, don't get me wrong, I do. By honest accountability, right? Out of tough love. Why? Because you understand the journey. You've watched the slumps, you've watched the injuries, you've seen the rebuilds, you know why expectations were high and low. You know when a player has been struggling for two months versus just having one bad night. So your criticism comes with context. And that gives you a really strong distinction from a fair weather where criticism can come from the moment. And a true fan criticism comes from the relationship. And then there's another kind of fan. The fan who believes being loyal means you never criticize the team. We call them the blind loyal fan. Bad trade? You trust the management no matter what. Terrible coaching decision? You don't question the coach. It's his team. Player having an awful season? Don't criticize them. You're supposed to support the team through it all. But that's where I disagree. Because fandom isn't blind loyalty. You can wear the jersey, cheer every night, defend your team when they deserve defending, and still say, that was terrible. For me, being a true fan isn't about how much trivia you know, how much money you've spent on jerseys or tickets, or whether you agree with every decision your team makes. It's about sincere and heartfelt passion. It's about sticking with your team through the good times and the bad ones, through the championships, the heartbreaks, the great seasons. And yeah, those seasons we probably rather forget. It's loyalty, it's devotion. But I don't think loyalty means being blind because sometimes criticizing your teams comes from the exact same place as cheering from them. You care, you want them to be better. And that's where I think this whole conversation about fandom gets really interesting. Maybe the question isn't whether true fans criticizes their teams. Maybe it's how we criticize them.

Criticism vs Negativity in Sports Fandom

Sue 4:23

So, what's the difference between criticizing your team and just being negative? For me, it really comes down to three things. Why you're saying it, what you're basing it on, and what you actually want to come from it. Because there's a big difference between saying that was a terrible decision and here's why, or that was a terrible trade, to just by saying this team sucks, or this team is garbage, blow everything up. So let me explain where I see that line, how I see it as a fan. Because there's some core differences. The intent. With criticism, we want something to improve. The coach should have called a timeout on that last possession to set up a clean shot. Where, if you're looking at it on the negative side of it, is it's where you want to dump your frustration. So you say something like, fire everyone right now. This coach is clueless and has completely ruined my entire week. And listen, have I ever let a loss ruin my night? Absolutely, but that's completely different. There's the focus. Criticizing what someone did versus deciding who someone is. He didn't hustle back on defense, fair criticism. He's lazy, he doesn't care, he's stealing his salary. Now we're claiming we know what's inside the athlete's head. So for me, I can tell you what I saw on the field, I can't tell you what's inside that player's head. Another core difference is the foundation. Criticism has something behind it. Negativity is often just the reaction. For example, why do I think the coach got it wrong? Because of the late substitutions, because we lost control of the midfield, because da-da-da-da. Now you've got a reason versus this coach is an idiot. Okay, why? Then that's just a reaction. I'm not sitting here pretending I've never done this. Trust me, I've had my moments. But there is a strong difference between criticism and negativity. And then we have the outcome, the accountability versus scapegoat. Two things can be true at the same time, right? The referee might have blown the call and your defense gave up 400 yards. That's a mature criticism from a fan because you're not letting your loyalty erase what actually happened. Whereas the league is corrupt, the refs hate us, they stole the game. That's where frustration starts creating a conspiracy to explain the loss. And sometimes the easiest person to blame isn't necessarily the right person to blame. But sometimes the blame is deserve. Sometimes your team, your coach, your players, your front office, they get it wrong. And when they do, I don't think being a true fan means pretending they didn't. Sometimes your team deserves to be called out. And I'll give you some examples and reasons. Like when the effort isn't there, a team can lose, a more talented team can beat you, and someone can have a terrible game. You can go through a slump, but lack of effort, that's different. I'm never gonna criticize an athlete simply because somebody else was better that night. That's sports. But when I see a player stop skating, stop running, stop hustling, giving up on a play, yeah, I'm gonna call that out. Because us the fans, not only do we invest money, but we invest our time, our emotions. We are devoted. So yeah, I don't expect them to win every night, but I do expect them to compete. Another reason is when the organization protects bad behavior, right? Because the jersey doesn't excuse everything. If someone associated with your favorite team does something genuinely wrong, being a fan doesn't require defending them just because they're one of ours. There are things bigger than sports. Oh, and I'm sure you fans will relate to this. When their actions, ownership for an office is what I'm talking about, when they don't show a commitment to winning, constantly cutting payroll, refusing to improve weaknesses, treating your favorite, your talented players to save money, and the list goes on, blah, blah, blah, blah. And there's a great distinction, right? The loyal fan knows the difference. Rebuilding isn't the same as not trying. Fans can understand a rebuild if there's a plan. But eventually the fans are going to be thinking, don't keep asking me for patience if you're not showing me what I'm supposed to be patient for. Another reason when you can call them out is when they keep making the same mistakes. That's what actually frustrates us, the fans. One bad draft pick happens, one bad trade happens, one coach and hire doesn't work, it happens. But when you're watching the same organizational mistakes over and over and over, eventually fans have every right to ask, what are we doing here? Also, when the franchise takes its fans for granted, fans gives teams something incredibly valuable, loyalty. They buy tickets, the jersey, watch the games, they travel to follow the teams, they defend their team, they pass their fandom down through families, through generations. They stick around through terrible seasons. So when the organization continually raises prices, gives fans less, puts out poor product, and basically assumes, well, they'll come anyway, that's when criticism is absolutely fair. Loyalty shouldn't be a one-way street. Effort, accountability, commitment, competence, respect. That's really what I'm asking for. I'm not demanding a championship every year. I'm not saying win or I'm criticizing you. I'm saying give me effort. Hold people accountable. Show me you're trying to improve. Learn from your damn mistakes and respect the people who support you. And when those things aren't happening, yeah, I think we have every right to criticize. Here's where it gets complicated. Because having the right to criticize doesn't give us the right to say anything we want, especially when the criticism is directed at the players themselves. So where's the line? How far is too far? We just talked about our beloved team, but what about criticizing the player's performance? Because this too is part of sports, right? But attacking the player personally, their family, their appearance, sending messages directly to them on social media, that's different. So where's the line between he played terrible tonight and making the athlete the target? For me, the line gets crossed when we stop talking about what the player did and start attacking who the player is.

Separating the Athlete From the Person

Sue 11:49

Because I don't care how much money they make, they're still people, they have families, and they have lives outside of sports. Criticize the player all you want for what happens on the field, ice, on the court. Their spouse didn't miss the shot. Their kid didn't throw the interception. Leave them out of it. Their family didn't sign the contract. And what about the topic of injuries and health? Well, it's fair for fans to be frustrated that an important player isn't available. It's even fair to discuss whether a player's injury history should affect a contract or a roster decision. But claiming somebody is faking an injury when you don't actually know, that's a different territory. We're not them. We're not their doctors. And this one shouldn't even need explaining. Racism, homophobia, slurs, that's not criticism. That's not fandom. That's hate. Period. Also, I think fans sometimes forget that the athlete doesn't remain public property after leaving the stadium, right? Boo them at the game. Sure. And we'll be talking about booing a bit later. But seeing the same player having dinner with their family two hours later, yeah, the game is over. Leave them alone.

When Sports Fandom Crosses the Line

Sue 13:12

And threats wishing injury on a player? Really? Do we need to address this? You want someone benched? Fine. You want them traded? Fine. Think they're massively overpaid? Sure, say it. Want them physically hurt? Well, now we've stopped talking about sports. If your fandom has reached a point where you're wishing real harm on another human being because of a game, maybe it's time to ask yourself whether this is still fandom at all. You can criticize the performance, you can criticize the decision, criticize the contract, even criticize the mistake. Don't dehumanize the person. Okay, we've talked about where criticism can cross the line. But there's another side to all this. Us, the fans. We're emotional, we care. And sometimes in the heat of a game, we're not exactly the most rational people in the room. I know I'm not. So why do sports make us act like this? And isn't that partly why we love them? Like I said, because we're emotional, we care. The team becomes our team. Why do we say we won? You didn't play, I didn't play. We weren't even in the building. But when things go badly, now it's they were terrible tonight. Suddenly it's they, not us. And why? Why do we say it's our team? Because after following a team for years, it becomes part of your identity. The colors, jerseys, traditions, memory, family connections, friends. That's why a win can generally make your day, and a horrible loss can put you in a mood. And that's part of fandom. Somewhere along the way, they stop being a team and becomes your team.

The Things We Do for Our Teams

Sue 15:08

And sports gives us permission to lose our minds. Think about perfectly normal things fans do during games that would look completely ridiculous anywhere else. Like talking to the TV and you're yelling, run, run, run, as though the athletes somehow never consider that, right? Giving coaches advice from the couch. Standing up because apparently your sitting position is affecting the outcome. Leaving the room because you can't watch while continuing to peek around the corner. We're celebrating with complete strangers, high-fiving someone you've never met. And of course, because we're so emotional, we're so dramatic, when the team is losing, we're like, it's over. And then five minutes later, we're back because of a goal, a touchdown. And maybe that's the point. Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? Because those emotions are part of what makes sports fun. If you watch your favorite team score a game-winning goal and react exactly the same way you react to folding laundry, what would be the point? The unpredictability is what gets us. You don't know what's going to happen. And sometimes you get heartbreak, but sometimes you get the moment you'll remember for the rest of your life. So, yeah, sports makes us irrational sometimes. We yell, we celebrate, we complain, we convince ourselves that changing seats is going to change the game. And maybe that's okay. Because if we didn't care this much, would being a fan really be this much fun? But there is one way fans show those emotions that has always divided people. Booing your own team. And listen, I understand why fans do it. Your team isn't given any effort. Management keeps making terrible decisions. You spend a small fortune just to get your family into the building, and what you're watching is unacceptable. I get it. And remember, I just spent an entire segment telling you there are times your team absolutely deserves to be called out. But would I boo my own team? No, can't do it. I don't care how frustrated I am, I'll criticize them, I'll question the coach, I'll complain about management, I'll yell at the TV, and trust me, I will do all of that, and I have. But boo my own team, to me, that's almost a sin in fandom. Call it my own personal fan code. Now, is that completely rational? Probably not. But we've already established that earlier in this episode that sports fans aren't always rational. I want you to challenge yourself. Would you boo your own team? And I mean the actual booing, not venting, complaining, or yelling, but the actual booing. What if they're given absolutely no effort? Me? No, I'm still not booing. What if ownership has been treating fans terrible for years? Me? Nope, I'm still not doing it. What if your team is losing 10-0 at home and players look like they just completely quit? For me, nope. I'm still not physically booing. Because for me, wearing the jersey means something. Call it loyalty, call it stubbornness, call it my own weird rule of fandom. But I just can't boo the jersey I'm cheering for. But do I understand why fans boo their own team? Absolutely, of course. Sometimes I even understand exactly what they're booing. I might agree with every bit of their frustration. But join them? Nope, I'm not doing it.

Are You Still Loyal When Your Team Loses?

Sue 19:08

Loyalty is easy to talk about when things are going well, right? The real test of fandom comes when they're not. It's pretty easy to wear the jersey when you're winning. It's easy when you're making playoff runs and everybody wants to talk about your team. But what about when they're terrible? When they're rebuilding again, when the trade someone you love, your favorite player, when management makes a decision you absolutely hate, that's when loyalty gets tested. We always say you cheer for the name on the front, not the name on the back. Okay, but let's be serious. We get attached to the name on the back too. So then you got the rebuilds. We the fans, we understand rebuilding. But how many times can you hear, just be patient, we're building something before saying, okay, when? And when your team is tanking, it does take some joy out of watching, right? But you're still watching. And sometimes you're not even sure whether you're supposed to want them to even win. And then the ticket prices rise. Crazy expensive. And ownership is not even investing in the team. So the fan reaction is you're asking more from me while giving me less. But here's where I struggle with loyalty. At what point does loyalty become blind loyalty? For me, loyalty doesn't mean defending every player, every coach, every trade, or every decision the organization makes. I can acknowledge that my team has problems and still love my team. In fact, we spent this entire episode talking about that. But why the heck do we still stay? There's always that little voice. What if this is finally the year? And if you suffered through 10 terrible seasons and then they finally win, nobody's getting you out of that celebration. Then there's the rituals, right? Watching with your family, the same friends, tailgating, group chats, the jerseys, game night, traditions. At some point, following the team becomes part of your life, even when the team isn't particularly good. That's fandom. And let's admit something else. Sports fans love telling people how long we've suffered, right? We've been here since before they were good. There's almost pride in surviving the terrible years. And it makes winning sweeter because you remember exactly what it took to get there. So maybe that's why we stay. The hope, the memories, the people we share it with, and maybe a little stubbornness too. Because when you've been through the bad years, finally experiencing the good ones just feels different. Still, when it's bad, when your team is really struggling, every true fan eventually asks themselves the same question. Why am I still putting myself through this?

Social Media & Toxic Sports Fandom

Sue 22:18

And there's one part of Phantom today that I think has completely changed the way we criticize our teams. Social media. Years ago, if I was mad after a game, I complained to whoever was watching with me, right? Your friend, your buddy. Maybe I even complain at work the next morning. But then eventually you move on. Today, before the game is even over, thousands of people are already online telling the coach he should be fired, telling a player he shouldn't be on the team, and arguing with complete strangers about whose fault everything was. Everything is immediate. We don't have time to cool down anymore. Something happens and within seconds we're posting our reaction. And as I mentioned earlier in this episode, we fans aren't exactly rational in the heat of the moment. Everybody has a microphone now. Years ago, you might rant to three friends. Now one angry reaction can be seen by thousands of people, including the player you're talking about. And I know the more reasonable, polite, respectful rant, comments, opinions like I don't agree with that coach's decision, and here's why, da-da-da-da. Doesn't always get the attention like fire everybody. This team is a disaster, gets. I know, I get it. And that can make fandom feel more negative than perhaps it actually is. And personally, I think it's gotten worse. I love that social media gives fans a place to talk sports. That's part of why I do this podcast. I love hearing different opinions, debating games, and celebrating with other fans. But somewhere along the way, I think some of us forgot that having an opinion doesn't mean we have to destroy somebody else's. Maybe all of us, myself included, can be a little better at remembering that there's another person on the other side of that screen. We can disagree, we can criticize, we can argue about sports. Trust me, I'm still going to. But we can be better about how we

What Makes Someone a True Fan?

Sue 24:22

do it. So after everything we've talked about, what does being a true fan actually mean to me? Well, being loyal to my team doesn't mean checking my opinion at the door. Do I have unconditional loyalty? I sure do. I've been through so many losing seasons, slumps, terrible coaching decisions. But I'm committed. I will buy the jerseys, the hats. I will watch the game after a terrible one. I will still be optimistic going to the next game. And I'm emotionally invested. When they win, I'm happy when they lose, especially a terrible loss. Yeah, it hurts. Probably more than it should sometimes. But being emotionally invested doesn't mean blindly agreeing with everything they do. If the effort isn't there, I'm saying it. If management makes a decision that makes absolutely no sense to me, I'll say it. If a player isn't performing, yeah, I'm gonna say it. But I can say all those things without tearing somebody down as a person. And maybe that's what I realized through this whole conversation. Fandom isn't about agreeing with everything your team does, it's about caring. Caring enough to celebrate with them, caring enough to hurt with them, caring enough to expect better from them, and still showing up for the next game.

Sue's True Moment

Sue 26:02

There's one teen that's taught me more about my own fandom than any other. For more than 40 years, I've been a Toronto Blue Jay fan. I fell in love at seven years old. The smell, the sight, the noise, they were so sweet. The smell of my leather glove, sunny, hot, bright summer day, and the sound of a ball hitting the bat. How I love playing baseball, playing catch, was one of my favorite things to do as a kid. And being glued to the TV on Sunday afternoons, and listening to the radio during the week in the evenings, those were the days. Listening to the game I love playing, played by athletes I looked up to. The love grew for the Blue Jays as I followed and tried to mimic the players I love. Witt, Bell, Mosby, and still my favorite, Barfield. The team was great. In the playoffs, the late 80s, going into the 90s. And we all know about the World Series. What a time to be a fan! I felt like I won with them. Then came the awful years, many years of bad teams, bad decisions, bad signings. I questioned why certain players were on my team. What was the manager thinking when changing pictures? Every September I swore I would never watch them again. And then the excitement every spring training, thinking this is going to be the year. I remember telling my buddies in college, if the Jays ever make the playoffs again, I will get a tattoo of their logo. So of course in 2015, I kept my promise. I got the Blue Jays logo tattooed. And beside it, one word, always. And with last year's run into playoffs and World Series, I was over the moon. I didn't miss one game. I was even okay having the bandwagon fans jump on the Jays train. Because I know what this team means to me. Always has. Always will. So yeah, I've criticized this team plenty over the years. I've questioned decisions. I've been frustrated. I've probably yelled at the TV more times than I'll ever admit. But none of that ever meant I stopped being a Blue Jays fan. Because criticism never canceled out the love. Maybe that's what fandom really is. Caring enough to celebrate the good, being honest enough to call out the bad, and still being there tomorrow.

Final Thoughts

Sue 28:35

Thanks so much for listening to another episode of True Fan True Opinions. If you enjoyed today's conversation, I really appreciate it if you follow the show, leave a review, and share it with another sports fan. And don't forget, I want to hear your thoughts. Did you agree with my takes? Did I miss something? Let me know in the comments or on social media. Until next time, keep sharing, keep believing, and remember, chin up, don't give up. I'm rooting for you.